Self Love 101

Aureen Therese P. Tabamo

“People may flatter themselves just as much by thinking that their faults are always present to other people’s minds, as if they believe that the world is always contemplating their individual charms and virtues.”

– Elizabeth Gaskell

All these time we’ve been trying to find ways how to love ourselves but we cannot seem to find it. We try to love and give love and exhaust all the love we can give to people who don’t really care and forget to love ourselves.

It’s not easy.

It’s never easy to love ourselves being in this society, confined into thinking that you should be like this or that, that you should look like this or that in order for us to be accepted and be loved.

The internet have set unattainable and unrealistic standards and these standards became goals for us that we have forgotten who we truly are. The internet have set goals that a woman should be like this to be perfectly accepted or to be openly belong to the society and there are different kind of goals that says this is how what love looks like, this is how a perfect man will come into your life and this is how you should treat him to keep him by your side.

Hence, it deludes us into thinking that we should change, because we ourselves, our true selves, will never be enough for anyone or for anything.

The clothes you wear, the things you could and couldn’t buy, all those material things, all those physical and worldly things do not define your being. You are you, you are beautiful.

There’s this movie I’ve watched the movie title is “I feel Pretty” wherein this girl felt ashamed of her physical attributes, she felt the need to change to be pretty, she felt the need to be one of those girls with perfect symmetrical faces, tiny waist, small arms and thighs and legs, what I’m really trying to say is that she doesn’t appreciate what she have.

Then, one night, there was a storm and it was raining really hard while she’s watching the television and drinking her wine and a there was a loud thunder and when she looked at the television it said there, “Your wish is granted.” After seeing that, she went immediately to a wishing well and well, she said her wish and toss a coin. Then, the next day, she went to a gym and while working out, she, well, accidentally fell and hit her head that made her pass out. When she woke up, she looked at her legs and at her arms and saw that they were beautiful and then she saw her face on the mirror and saw that she was pretty, although nothing really changed.

She thought there was a magic that happened and then she felt really confident and really appreciated her physical attributes. She loved herself. But in the end, she bumped her head and then she passed out, too and she looked on the mirror and said that the magic was gone. Later then, she compared her now and then photos and realized that there was really no magic and that it was the same.

The thing is, we make the magic in ourselves, it’s not about what other people think about you.

It is about what you think about YOU.

How you view yourself affects how other people see you. We shouldn’t change who we are just because other people think that its awful because of the unrealistic standard they have in mind. We get to work with ourselves to be better. We cannot be better in just a night. It is a lifelong commitment with ourselves.

What defines you as a person is not these worldly things, not other people’s thoughts and opinions about you.

What defines you as a person is what’s inside. Ironic as it may seem, but it is actually real. If you’ve got a pretty face or a handsome face, a perfect body, but you don’t know how to respect people, you don’t know how to appreciate what you have, and you embarrass and look down on people just because you think you’re superior to them because of your physical attributes, I don’t think that’s actually good.

What you are inside, creates a big impact on people’s lives. No matter how you look like, they will remember you for the thing you’ve done to them and not because of your pretty face.

You are beautiful for who you are and not because of what you are.